not i dreamt of you. the dream was so real that i felt your hands holding on to mine.
i decided to text you and it was after plucking my courage to tell you how much i miss you. but before i even manage to tell you, you are there telling me how sad you are over "k" . even more than joyce whom is another girl who i know you really loved.
right here im thinking, what about me? was i ever in your life before? i guess no. after this convo we have, i've got my answer.
my heart aches and i do not know how am i able to let out this overwhelming emotions. why is this so?
and the person that im talking about is you.
maybe im just being dumb and silly to choose this tougher way out. i chose to listen to all the heartfelt words of how much u love her, miss her and dying to marry her. every words of your's pierced through my heart. i cried while trying to be sympathetic and to accompany you.
yes. this cruel and harshest way will work. at least a new way to try to get rid of you forever in my heart. its tiring to love you on a one sided basis for 11mths.
and not to forget, happy 11mths after we went seperate ways. today is the exact 11mths. and hopefully, it will stop counting on soon.
i dont want to love you anymore. i dont want to miss you anymore.
yvette's back.
sitting at starbucks talking to her about why we broke up really make my heart aches.
i miss you so much bee! really. heart never fail to ache when i talk about you.
you sure nowadays ladies see your resumes before being together with you? its most girls out there, or just that special new girl of your's?
'where's the working hard tgt for a better future'
omg, this is all so and familiar. it seems that when you wrote this 2 status, you totally forgot about me- the girl whom you told her that you are so grateful for her to go through every single thing with you when you were at your lowest point of your life and you know no one can ever do it.
so are you trying to tell the world you didnt have any ex-girlfiend who did all those for you and didnt judge you financially but only accepted u cause she love u as a whole?!
today at compass i thought i saw someone who looks like you. i was shock and my heart was pumping so fast that i couldnt breathe.
i realize how deeply i have always been missing you. its really really deep like as tho we are still together and its just that you are not beside me. how silly am i to actually describe it that way, haha!
anyway i am really thankful for the existence of this abandoned blog for to write all my feelings in, and also for the fact that you have not read a single thing thats written on this space even till now.
nothing has changed in missing you even after close to 11months.
next time instead of calling to just ask for help, can you at least ask me how am i before asking for help like how u intended to?!
hi!
how are you doing right now? taking good care of your own health now?
just wondering have you return to this space and read all these post i have been posted within this 10 months. how will you feel or what will you do if ever you get to read all this.
anyway, i've finally moved on from this r/s. however my definition of moving on is just about accepting the fact that we are no longer together and we are off onto a different road now. still, i miss you. and the one man in my heart presently is still you.
as i have mention accepting the facts, i know you will never be back again and i wont carry any hopes that you will be back.
still hoping the best for you. even tho it is true i wish i can love you as before and be the special girl in your life, i sincerely hope that you can find a girl who loves you wholeheartedly and be with you till the end of time.
you will be the handsome bridegroom that i have always know you would be.
love€,
xxx
Do you remember my birthday?
ya, i love her. she taught me alot , even don can see the change in me. ya i kissed her, it all happened on my bday. it was unplanned. we got closer on that day.
just how cruel can you be. bt the good thing is that i didnt shed a single tear upon hearing all this shit from you! it might be chaotic for me if i were to hear it a few mths back.
just when i was so upset during the days nearing your bday, you were happily w her. and now u can tell me hw happy you were w her and hw everything actually happened! i do not need to know so much u know? do you know hw disgusted i was to know of your cheap love w her! i really felt really disgusted.
u know she changed you. then didnt i?
since she's your saint. since she's your angel. listen carefully ya, this is promise i am giving to you. from that day when you told me she have changed u so much, i will never care abt a single thing abt u anymore. you and i would never be we anymore.
and listen carefully.
i hate you not cause u love her but all the cruel shit u have done to me within this 9mths!
i was so happy when we talked and laughed on the phone. but good things didnt last. after settling your line issue, you disappeared once again. you got on w your own life and i got on w mine. can you just come back and stay? can you not leave? you and me only exist w phone line, or when you need my help? you know i will never leave you alone bt u are always leaving me alone. should i continue helping u whenever u need help? and seeing you leave after getting what you wanted?
why?
i am not yet over you.
' today my mom said something that struck my heart. she said: " must be able to take it if a relationship fail. if can't take it, better don't fall into it. after all, u will be the one suffering.. na de qi, yi ding yao fang de xia.. " was quite amaze by it!! haha.. '
this is so true. and this is the explanation why there isnt any changes to my heart yet. i would rather feel heartbroken over you than to have a new person coming into my life again and falling again like a repetition.
isnt this suppose to what was in your mind all along?
If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, and my overactive tear ducts. You are falling in love with my past, my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with all my flaws and imperfections. But if you fall in love with me, you’ll also love the way my eyes dance when I’m with you and the way my head fits so perfectly into the groove on your shoulder. You’ll fall in love with the occasionally humorous and thought-provoking things that I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. You’ll also fall in love with how I give the best of myself to you without any reservations. I hope that’s enough for you, I really do.
7 months have just past a few days ago, and i have seen so much outside throughout this period of time.
my lifestyle had changed, my hairstyle have changed, my weight have changed, new groups of friends, tried different jobs. what about you? still the same or have some little change? my character changed as well. becoming more naive, becoming more honest.
so much have changed that made me see alot and cross-reflected to the quarrels we had in the past. when we just broke up, what i see is all your fault but till now, i have figured out more things which i wished i had figured out in the past.
and after all the cross-reflecting, i realise something which did not change a single bit. i still love and miss you like always. i texted you a casual msg to remind you to take care of your health etc but the reply i received was yea, casual as well. so i told myself ' chances of even rekindling our love is kinda hard '.
i wouldnt say i would wait still. i will just keep moving on like how i have been doing. when its time, my feelings will eventually fade off. or even if we are fated to be tgt again, we will meet again in the future.
hang on my dearest boy, your difficult times in life will soon be over as long as you work really hard step by step.
what happened to you? why did you lose so much weight? havent you eat enough like how you used to?
please remember to take care of yourself.
remember lesser fan plus air -con together please.
and just now i have a sudden urge to text you. i miss you.
do you feel the same too?
1 year ago, i was very sick and you were there taking good care of me making sure i will recover by the time we go thailand. a year later, i am down with a fever of 38.9 degree celsius for 3 days and i got to juggle it all on my own. and at this time, you are taking care of another girl - a new love of your's. glad to see how meticulous you are to even cook barley for her. she's really fortunate to even get to taste your homemade barley.
2 years ago, i remember cutting your bday cake tgt with your relatives, family and our friends. 1 year ago, we were cutting your bday cake humbly downstairs my house. and this year, someone will take over me in your life, your heart in doing all this and cutting cake with you.
this will be my last post for you.
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to jiang ah bee
happy birthday to you..
baby happy birthday * muacks *
wishing you all the best for you and k*
based on being the chosen one, i believed she will be a good gf and a future wife of your's.
bye jiang ah bee. bye to everything which we once had. i wont be waiting for you anymore. i will too go find my mr right.6 mths is enough to prove that our fate has already ended and this is definitely my greatest regret in my life.
last but not least, my love for you has never decreased a single bit. but for now till then, i am scattering my love for you into the sea and let it just float away and not come back anymore.
i was worrying and thinking too much. you might already have a wonderful birthday coming your way.
all the best!
About six months
how have you during this period of time? still okay?, sincerely hope you are.
me? still struggling even till now.
for the past few 2 years, i would be busying preparing for your birthday. march has always been the busiest day of my year. but now, is anyone busying for you? racking their brains really hard to make you the happiest boy on earth on your birthday?ordering your fave black forest from pine gardens is what i intended to do. but i dont wish to spoil your bday as you once told me that you are now better off being single. dont wish to remind you of your nightmare on your bday - the day which i never failed to make you happy and feeling fortunate to be in this world.
today is really scary for me, everything rushed its way to me. its too much for me to handle, i see your shadows everywhere i go - thought about everything, from the sweetest time to disastrous time.
sat outside macdonald's and the image of how i used to wait there for you to end work came to me. guess the happiest time of mine was being able to sit there to wait for you to finish work almost everyday? and also buying your chosen choice of ice cream and apple pie. then i went in to see the image of you sitting beside me with my laptop and your ice cream while i am studying for my exams. and then our image of walking and talking rubbish on our way home.
went to blk 237 7/11 where the images of how angry you were with me and i was hiding at one corner. then the whole journey of running away, hiding and dragging things go onm. and how i received a text to go back together.
and i immediately wanted to slap myself hard, to wake up from the most awful dream i have been living in for the past 6 mths. why did we stop there? why did we fail at that point of time? why didnt we made it through? were we too weak as a couple to make it through?
did you miss me? are you still missing me? am i still haunting your life like how you are doing to me? will we ever meet again with u telling me ' baby, i am here to bring you back.. to take you with me ' ?
i really wish to hear something. something which you used to tell me to make me less afraid ' baby, dont fall. i am your pillar of strength and i am here for you '
baby, will u?
当所有的事情结束后，画面和疑问才会变得十分清楚。当你后悔时，所有的一切已经太迟了
Boy: I broke up with her.
His Best Friend: What happened?
Boy: She’s just too much for me.
His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?
Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..
Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..
Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..
Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..
Boy: Well, she..
His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?
Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?
His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.
chanced upon this
To my best boyfriend,
I LOVE you super deep deeep deeeeeeep.
You have a nice dimple, smile, vocal, brown eyes & tongue piercing
You make me wanna love you more than I can since the day we got together
You should try staying over at my place (:
Someday I will wish to retire and go for a world tour together with you.
You + me = happiness, laughters, sweet sweet love
If I saw you now I'd still hug and kiss you like how I usually do (:
I want to marry you.
I would build a invisible castle just for you. ( no disturbance, just you and me )
If I could sing you any song it would be 1,2,3. ( 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you~ I love u )
.
We could whisper sweet nothings to each other under the stars.
Love,
Jiang Ah bee, Tay Yu Ting
(P.S.I have alr blog this as my entry even before you wrote on my wall, dumb dumb! haha )
**** i can still remember how perfect we were in the past.
