are you feeling better from your illness?
i have slept for 12 hours straight due to my bad cough. the medication is like shit cause it doesnt help, make it worst now and also cost me $44!
i miss you still, really! missing how we used to take care of each when we were sick in the past.
but for you, you prefer being alone right now as u believe we are better off each other.
on a rainy day like today, i ended school at 9plus pm. heavy downpour, the sound of water dropping on the ground..
i am reminiscing the old times when we both cuddle together on you bed while waiting for the rain to stop.
do you miss me as much too?
seriously i am not a self delusioned good angel and a good partner.
i know that being paranoid and possesive is my fault. i know it all. i know breaking up at that moment was wrong. but it was all an outburst, not because of your friend. i just need you to give me a chance for me to show you everything which i know i need to improve on. all this is not cause you have said before but it after all reflections.
it takes two hands to clap and we should solve this together. today you seriously dont look happy at all. you have yet to forget everything ya? just come back will you? i can heal everything. really..
if ever one day you wish to come back, just text me. cause i dont think my heart will ever be replaced by anyone so easily.
even today i met you to get the ownership transferred by in the end it wasnt successful? is it a message to us that we should not end all contacts?
today when i met you, i immediately became softhearted. i thought i could be harsh and cruel to leave completely but i cant. " just forget everything " , " you are the only angel, good girlfriend and everything is my fault " .. no matter what kind of harsh words you have told me cant push me away. seriously.. why am i so silly to not go away even till now? i know i am harsh to you in my words too but.. it hurts me as well to scold someone whom i love wholeheartedly too..
right now the radio is playing the song " lucky " , the song which you love.
i love you still. nothing have even change.. when i caught 11:11 that day, i make a wish. made a wish for you to come back. even till today when i talk to you, i was still telling you to take good care of yourself and not to do things rashly.
i know i am irritating, i know you want me to move on. this is not because i am stubborn. this is because i love you too much to move on. how to move on when i remember you writing you will marry me on kiefer's writing board? how to move on when we plan our future together before? how to move on when i threw away my life to take care of your's before. do you know the amount of love i have for you when i can care for your life more than mine?
is the board still at your place? do you still watch the montage i did for you? do you crave for those things i bake for you before?
lastly, do you still love me? can you pls take me back??
how I wish
flashbacks of the times you slept over at my place, holding my hands when sleeping and kissing my forehead before saying good night. i miss you. the flashbacks are so real till i feel as though you are holding my hands right now.
when i know that you were caught in a midst of tough decision, how i wish i was there to accompany you through it. yesterday i texted you, wanted to talk and to be there for you like how i used to be. but in the end, i didn't talk to you at all about it.i do not know where should i start and how should i talk. talk to you as a friend or talk to you as your ex? i know how far you can go for a friend and i have seen it all. it isnt about expectations anymore.
i know whatever which you 've written on fb was to tell me about it but seriously, i know you too well and i know those are all the thoughts on your mind.
am worried for you and really gotten so use to worrying every single thing about you. still hoping the best for you!
am i silly ? lol. i guess thats still me? (:
http://youme-them.blogspot.com/2010/08/solemnization-highlight-finally.html
My dream
why do i still love you so much like before??
do you know that i really love you wholeheartedly? isnt true love everything in a relationship and could overcome all problems? even if i know you have moved on and is feeling happier without me, why do i still love you so much? everything stays the same - totally no interest in anyone who wanted to get near me.
am i so huge as a burden to occupy such a big space in your world? then why is there no space in your world for me?
i am stupid. but being stupid for someone i love is what i dont mind to be doing.
freedom, space.. i know thats what you want. but why is there no chance for me? dreaming of you almost every night is what happened. why are you even haunting me in my dream? how i wish i can move on as easily as you.
is it that easy for you? do you still think of me? have you miss me yet? isit really happier for you to move on?
